This month marks the official return to blogging for me. I’m starting back slowly with a letter from me, Leah, the owner of Bluebird Chic to sort of explain where I’ve been. I’m absolutely loving the content that the ambassadors have been able to contribute around the ideas and themes I come up with, and am looking forward to having them continue. But, I’m ready to be back. To share more of myself. Because, I think that’s really my place and my calling here and in life. I love sharing my journey. I love sharing anything that can help anyone who’s looking for a bit of inspiration – big goals, or tiny projects. Building a business or renovating a room (or your home, if you’re us!), just giving inspiration to try a new recipe to add to your meal plan for yourself or your family, or making a wreath to hang in your hallway. I love sharing and inspiring.
So, why did I stop? In short, the pressure to be perfect.
It didn’t happen all of a sudden, it crept in slowly.
[my husband Andrew and me during our photoshoot with Megan Klauer. He’s always finding ways to surprise me for funny, genuine, and cute photo opps while we shoot. I need to find a way to do the same!]
I had been a blogger from all the way back in the day when our oldest son was tiny. (my old blog) Back then, I shared stories, photos, recipes, scrapbooking and papercrafting projects – just anything that popped into my head that I wanted to share. Good photography, bad photography, whatever. As time passed, and I had more opportunities related to my sharing, with magazines and companies, I began to fuss over things more. I can’t show this photo of me in the kitchen cooking for my family doing what I love! Our kitchen is totally outdated! Ack! There’s clutter in the living room because we actually live there! Can’t share that photo of the joy on my kids’ faces over their birthday gift!
Over time, I became an anxious perfectionist. To be fair, I wasn’t picking this perfectionism up from blogging – as time has gone on, and I’ve done the work to unravel the mystery, it was coming from other places in my life. But, I’ll save the story of the unravel for another day, if it ever feels appropriate for the time. Being a recovering perfectionist, it’s hard for me to admit this (because that’s totally less than perfect).
But here’s the reality. I’m wired to be a teacher. A tryer. A doer. And a really genuine and authentic person. I’m wired to be a person who doesn’t judge mistakes or failures – they’re just steps on the path to success. I don’t naturally judge people by their race or ethnicity, language, culture, or choice of religion or politics. I just shrug – you’re cool with me, if you’re genuinely trying to be a good person. That’s life. It’s messy and imperfect.
What I’ve learned from all of this? Trying to be perfect just makes you miserable. It makes you anxious, and prevents you from making genuine connections with people around you. People just like you, who are just trying to live their lives. It also prevents you from fulfilling your calling in life. It’s really hard to try new things when you’re afraid you’ll fail and be less than perfect. It’s hard to even think of sharing if you’re afraid someone will find an imperfection in what you do. Sounds simple enough, but I’ve been working through all of this for a couple of years, now.
So, I’m back. We’re working on a messy renovation of our home. Piles of junk stacked everywhere as we move from room to room. But I want to share it with you. I want to give you that little push of encouragement you might need to try that new thing. I want to share where my business is going, what I’ve learned, and help you start or grow your business, too. I want to share how crazy and imperfect life is to run my own business while juggling homeschooling, raising our boys together, building my art and photography, and staying close with my best friend/husband. Because if I can do it, so can you.
Warning: It’ll be far from perfect.
I’m starting with a monthly letter that I’ll post with personal thoughts and introducing the ideas that inspired my choice of content for the website/blog this month. It’s sort of inspired by the idea of a “letter from the editor” at the beginning of a magazine. Sharing my thoughts and ideas, what inspired me this month. Look for that later this week. And look for me to start sharing bits and pieces of our home renovations. And video clips. (yikes!) About anything that I happen to be doing or working on.